It's been a hot minute since I've written. A lot has changed in the Sometimes Wholesome house, and it's been quite a whirlwind.
Jeep Man and I have split, and that's ok. I'm not going to divulge details, and I'm not going to bash all over him (he is my awesome kids' father, after all), so if you're looking for a Grey's Anatomy-esque drama, this isn't your blog. I'm seeing someone new, we'll call him The Marine, and he's pretty amazing all around. I'm re-joining the work force, moving from a house to an apartment, and hoping to restart school again soon. That's a whole lot of change in a short period of time. But you know what hasn't changed? My kids. Well, aside from growing and all that. Monster is still very ADHD, SID, and Dyslexic. Roo is still very tenacious, sweet, and surprising.
All of these changes would be difficult on any child, but imagine this many changes for a kid like mine. One that thrives on routine and sameness. I don't know how his head hasn't exploded. He's a good boy, sweet, kind, loves everyone and doesn't understand how anyone couldn't love him. He's the kid who, in 2012, asked Santa to make the people in Connecticut happy again after the Sandyhook shooting. He's the kid who shares his toys with anyone. He's the kid who, if I'm not feeling well, will play quietly with his sister and check up on me to make sure I'm ok.
But he's also the kid who has almost no impulse control, forgets what he's been told within minutes, gets distracted easier than Paula Deen at a butter convention, and panics a little when he's being reprimanded.
A good friend, we'll call her Boston, came to visit us for a few weeks in April. She saw his quirks, his melt downs, his forgetfulness; and she said it best when she said "He's not just being an a**hole, he's a sweet kid. He just can't control this stuff." And you know what? She's entirely correct.
He's not just a little jerk. I mean, let's be honest here, all kids kind of are to a degree; but when it's the 15th time I've told him to brush his dagum teeth, I have to remind myself of this. He's not ignoring me, he's not trying to make my blood pressure rise. He literally has no control over how easily he gets distracted. When I tell him to clean his room, it becomes a four hour chore, simply because "Oh cool! A Batman toy!"
ADHD kids are a different breed all together, and they need to be looked at as such. Personally, I can't stand parents who make excuses for their obnoxious children. If your kid is just a jerk (ex: being rude and nasty to other kids or adults, not taking responsibility for their actions, purposely ignoring you, etc) , perhaps you should take a moment to sit back and wonder how they become that way. Thankfully, most kids are decent enough.
An ADHD kid though? Nine times out of ten, they're the sweetest kids you'll ever encounter. They're bright, funny, and see everything great in the world. Their imaginations are endless and should be nurtured, not held back. So I lose my shiz sometimes? Of course I do. I'm far from perfect, and too many times have I had to hug my son and tell him "Mommy's very sorry, I shouldn't have yelled like that." because I've just told him, yet again, that it's time to walk out the door and I swear if he doesn't put his shoes on right this second, my head will explode, and there'll be Sometimes Wholesome brain matter all over these walls...
Boston, thanks for reminding me that he's not just an a**hole. I mean, he totally can be, because I'm not a fan of pooping with an audience, and he seems to think I really want to open his cheese stick while on the toilet, but you know... thanks for reminding me that the other stuff doesn't make him an a**hole.
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