Oh Don't Mind Her, She Doesn't Like People.

Believe it or not, I’ve had to say this about my baby before. Yes, my baby. What sort of baby doesn’t like people, you ask? Mine. She’s now 16 months old and if you talk in baby language at her and try to get a smile, she will stare blankly at you and shove her tiny,adorable finger straight up her nostril.

Oh, she’s super cute. Strawberry blond hair that curls in the back, big blue doe eyes and a perfect little nose. But the second someone she’s unfamiliar with tries to talk to her, she becomes the world’s most introverted baby. And I wasn’t kidding about the finger up the nose. I’mactually a little impressed by that one. Her 5 year old brother didn’t figure that out until he was 3.

She’s got tons of personality at home. In fact, right now she’s climbing on my living room chair and dancing. Don’t worry, I’ll stop her when she tries to stand on the chair. She loves stuffed animals and is quite determined to cause bodily harm to her big brother. She gives the dog half of every meal (he’s getting quite fat actually) and seems to love anything zebra print. See? Loads of personality.

And then the new people show up, and it’s all gone. Suddenly her chatter stops and she’s clinging to my neck like baby chimp. What makes it worse is that these new people seem to take her ‘social anxiety’ as a personal challenge to try and invade her personal baby bubble.

They always do the baby-smile thing. Reach out with a finger, put on a big fake smile and speak to her like she’s an idiot. And they wonder why she doesn’t pretend to be entertained. They start getting closer though. And then when I try to back up and say “Oh, she’s really reserved. She really doesnt smile at people she doesn’t know.” they seem to hear “Please, invade our space and harass my almost-toddler.”

What the hell is with that?! The second you conceive, you and your baby seem to suddenly become public property. I genuinely believe that the fear of miscarriage isn’t what keeps women from spilling the pregnant beans during those first twelve weeks. It’s that those first weeks, you’re a walking barf bag and the last thing you need is people touching you. People generally don’t just randomly touch those that aren’t knocked up. Funny how that works, i’n'it?

Then the baby comes. Now you get left alone, but the baby becomes the target for people and their nasty germ covered hands.

The point is, stay away from my baby! She obviously doesn’t like you, and since you can’t seem to back the eff up… I’m inclined to agree.

~ Dee